Leading Beyond Triggers with Values Intact

Co-author and story by: Sonia Chavez.

As leaders navigate the speed of business today, paired with unprecedented times and changing personnel dynamics, it is undeniable we will encounter challenges and difficult decisions. Whether faced with a professional or personal decision you do not agree with, it is certain emotions will come into play. Traditional work culture teaches us there is no place for emotions in business, yet every business is comprised of emotional beings. Emotion serves an important purpose for leaders. Emotions tell us a topic is important, has value, and impacts people. It is a navigation system telling us when we have gone off course and need to redirect. When leaders use emotion to increase focus and come to better decisions, they have a positive impact on the people around them and their organization. In situations like these, leaders also set the example that emotions are not good or bad, they are simply data for us to pay attention to. As we explore how leaders can navigate situations and decisions they do not agree with, this three-step process can be applied to understand what specifically is triggering and then respond to the situation with clarity.

As an example of the impact of emotions in decisions and challenges, we offer a true story of a professional situation where the three-step process was used.

There I was, freshly minted from my 10-month experiential leadership program, in a discussion with my executive leadership team around upcoming initiatives for the workforce. One executive questioned the approach we were taking, specifically questioning what we were asking of him and the executives in our business area. I explained that if we are the team chartered to develop our leaders, we should be modeling everything we teach.

He pushed back.

So did I.

The fact that I dared to call him on his own behavior filled him and the room with tension. He raised his voice, attempting to use power and bravado to “put me in my place.” Coming from a military background I knew this playground well and was not deterred.

I stood my ground and asked why he, or any other leader, should fall under different expectations than our workforce. At this point he’d had enough of my comments and others in the room were quickly moving to put out the flames.

I quieted at this point and I knew I’d crossed the line. I had teetered on the edge of disrespect and I knew it. This was because in all truthfulness, he was not a leader I respected.

This story exemplifies the values of integrity, credibility, and respect. How many times have you faced a similar situation where you were asked to follow a decision that you do not agree with? This does not only apply to leaders. We often face workplace challenges or difficult personal situations and decisions. Although this example is focused around an intense circumstance, the three-step process can be used in both work and personal situations when you find yourself emotionally triggered.

Gain Awareness. Emotions can be an unfamiliar space we are not used to navigating within the business world, therefore it’s important to start by simply becoming aware of how you are feeling. Are you angry, frustrated, confused, hurt, offended, or overwhelmed? What body signals are you getting? Are you hot, shaky, feeling a pit in your stomach, sweaty, or have a headache? What are these emotions and responses calling your attention to? If your shoulders are tight, what weight are you carrying in this situation? If your stomach is sick, what intuitive “gut” feeling are you ignoring?

Once you’ve explored your emotional and physical response, it’s time to explore why this situation was a trigger. Often when we are triggered by a situation in our lives, it’s because there is a personal value that is challenged, stepped on, or violated. To know this, you must first do a little work to know what your values truly are. Depending on how defined your values are, this could take some reflection and processing time. It’s helpful to remember that values are created by our background and experiences and are not necessarily a reflection of our aspirations. Values are unique to each individual, they won’t necessarily align with your boss or your business, and they don’t have to stay the same over time.

By knowing your values, you can ask yourself what is it about this situation or person that is challenging a value, or multiple values, you hold? Once you have an idea of what value is triggered, you can move on to the next step.

Create Clarity. Create space between the event and your reaction to clarify what it means to you and what action you are going to take in response. Even a few seconds can give time for refection and clarity. This intentional space gives the opportunity to answer the most important question, now what? Given the event and the emotion it sparked within you, what do you do now? How do you want to respond? Is it worth responding? How are you contributing to the situation? What do you really want from the situation?

Give yourself time to reflect on the end goal you would like to achieve within the situation or problem. With your end goal in mind, what action would be most helpful right now? How could you improve the situation, change the conversation, or move the relationship forward? Identify exactly what you are saying no to and what you are saying yes to within each response. Even inaction can be a valid and positive response. Perhaps everyone involved needs time to cool down or gather information. Action could erode the situation. On the other hand, if action, a decision, or a reply is going to progress the situation, then move towards action. Plan your response by evaluating the data, personalities, context, and options to determine the next steps. Define what you will do, how you will behave, what you will say, when you will respond, and who you will share your decisions with.

Take Action. Once you have clarity on how to respond, then follow-through on your decision. This can often be a difficult task for leaders who are inundated with countless requests, tasks and pulls on their time. The more difficult an action is to follow-through on, the more intentional and deliberate execution needs to be. If you have taken the time to gain awareness and create clarity resulting in the need for action to move a situation forward, don’t let inaction negate all your work. If a conversation, a meeting, or information gathering is needed, don’t let time pass by and change the dynamic. Find ways that work for you to follow-through and execute – block time on your calendar, send a meeting request, or write an email first draft today.

Regardless of the path you choose to take, move forward with kindness and intention. Don’t allow changing circumstances to draw you into quick reactions. As a leader, your actions will be held to a higher standard and observed by those you didn’t know were watching. Use emotion as a signal to dig in deeper, not to react or turn away. Small moments like these can expand your impact and influence, use them as opportunities for reflection.

You may be wondering what happened in the story.

I followed the process in this article and I took time to reflect on what had triggered me in that room. I talked with my supervisor who I deeply trusted, I talked with her supervisor, and I got perspective from a couple colleagues. In the end, I realized the organization was not aligned with my value system. I value and thrive in a culture seeking courageous leadership and transformation, even disruption. My eagerness to rock the boat and bring evolution did not sit well with many people within the organization. I couldn’t blame them or my environment any longer. I had to own my future and everything that came with it. I walked away from a 20+ year career to pursue an opportunity that more closely aligned with my values and I have never felt better.

** This article is the second in a series of twelve addressing common leadership questions. These questions and challenges touch leaders at all levels and transcend industries. The article series provides valuable information and action steps for leaders to take their skills and teams to the next level. Click here to read the full series.

Author’s Note: Special thanks to Sonia Chavez for leading with her values, coaching others to become rebel leaders and for her generous contribution in co-authoring this article. 

Intentional Leadership: How to Lead in Today’s Challenging Times

Co-author: Jeremy Lurey.

It may be a new year, but we’re still facing many of the same challenges. Much of our workforce is still at home balancing caring for young children and virtual learning. Those who are working in person are wrestling with the reality of keeping physically distanced from their co-workers while worrying about staying healthy. 

Exacerbating these COVID conditions, many businesses now exist within a volatile and uncertain world. Will demand for our products and services continue to exist? How will pricing change? How long will supply chain issues continue to impact us? What services will be in demand? On the people side, how do we keep employees engaged to meet these changing demands? How do we help employees evolve and succeed?
With questions like these keeping us up at night, how do we lead in these challenging times? The following six leadership actions can provide direction and focus for forward progress.

1.       Be present with your emotions – If we want our teams to deliver exceptional performance, then we need to begin by managing our own emotional reactions to this uncharted territory. This doesn’t mean pretending nothing has changed or glossing over the challenges. We need to acknowledge our fears and anxieties about the uncertainty around us, and in doing so acknowledge everyone else’s concerns too.

We can’t solve today’s most pressing problems if we aren’t present to our own emotions and reactions and don’t maintain our composure as leaders. To be more present, check in with yourself and monitor your own mental and physical health. Institute personal rituals and routines that work for you, like meditation, yoga, mindfulness, listening to relaxing or inspiring music, eating healthier, or working out. Only then will you be able to show up as a positive and compassionate leader for your team.

2.       Drive accountability by leading through connection – Today’s COVID conditions are requiring many of us to lead in different and unprecedented ways. As your team members change where and how they work together, lean into these transformations to be more powerful and inspirational.

This is not the time for micro-management or tighter deadlines. Now is the time to lead through increased connection. It’s easy for our employees to feel disconnected right now, so look for occasions to intentionally create more social connections with and between your team members to increase employee engagement during these challenging times. Regular one-to-one check-ins and team huddles are essential. Your default may be to cancel these meetings because you’re “too busy” or perhaps afraid of the difficult questions that might come up, but these are critical opportunities that allow your team to express concerns, seek support from each other, and troubleshoot key challenges they may be facing. Demonstrate to your team that you care about them, you are committed to their success, and together you will get through this one day at a time.

3.       Define your strategic goals for the year – The new year is always a great time to think strategically and plan for the year ahead. This is even more important as we start 2021, so define your ideal future and set your new strategic goals in line with the current global landscape.

As you critically evaluate the strategy you developed in 2020 and review the events of last year, some of your intentions undoubtedly fell short of meeting your expectations. Critical products or services may have shifted, business processes may have been redesigned, and future outlooks have likely changed. As a result, suspend any projects that no longer fit and add new initiatives that can carry your business forward into 2021 and beyond. Then, cascade these strategic objectives down to your functional teams to ensure everyone is aligned and on track to reach your goals.

4.       Create a culture of creativity & innovation – What you did a year ago pre-COVID may not work in a mid-pandemic world. While this may necessitate some subtle and at times dramatic changes to your business practices, it also presents significant opportunity to be innovative and reinvent your business.

In these challenging times, the opening for innovation grows. Ideas that had been off the table before can now be considered. It may be clearer than ever that “the way we’ve always done it” simply won’t work anymore. Look for opportunities to be innovative and engage teams of subject matter experts and other superstars to identify what changes you can implement today to create a brighter, more sustainable tomorrow. Are there new systems or processes you can implement to modernize virtually or reduce time consuming physical handoffs? Can you streamline or otherwise redesign your customer interactions in ways that may have not been possible before? Explore these creative ideas, pilot new beta projects, and celebrate your quick wins to position your business for greater success now and in the future.

5.       Stop speaking & start listening – Effective communication during challenging times requires us to stop acting like we have all the answers. Resist the urge to focus on your ideas and look to your team to accurately read the current culture and context for your business. Pay more attention and start listening to others to determine exactly how you need to lead right now.

Your team will tell you what they need. They’ll show you what inspires and motivates them. Increase your opportunities to listen by creating spaces to solicit feedback, questions, and ideas. That way, you can create a more adaptive and responsive organization that addresses employees’ true needs.

6.       Show your appreciation for & extend kindness to others – The global pandemic has impacted people in vastly different ways. Families have lost loved ones, parents are caring for and home-schooling children while attempting to work, and many recreational and social activities are greatly limited. On the other hand, many people have benefited from reduced business travel, non-existent commutes, and extra time they are now enjoying at home.

Challenge yourself to be mindful of this vast range of experiences. Simple acts of kindness go a long way towards inspiring your workforce. Pay attention to what others are experiencing and show your sincere appreciation for what they accomplish in a changing work environment. Whether it’s saying “Thank you” explicitly or recognizing your employees with small, meaningful gifts, celebrate your successes and be inspirational. Your grace and compassion could be the one thing that makes the difference in how people show up at work.

Many of the innovative changes you implement during these challenging times can continue even when things do settle down. Be courageous, bold, and kind. In times of change and uncertainty, employees observe and take note of their leaders more than ever. Remember who you are as a leader matters. In fact, the organizational culture and work climate your team members experience is overwhelmingly a result of how you show up. Commit to being a powerful leader and drive greater performance and effectiveness throughout your organization even now.

** This article is the first in a series of twelve addressing common leadership questions. These questions and challenges touch leaders at all levels and transcend industries. The article series provides valuable information and action steps for leaders to take their skills and teams to the next level.

 Author’s Note: Special thanks to Jeremy Lurey for leading in challenging times with ease and grace and especially for his generous contribution in co-authoring this article.