Co-author: Dr. Reggie Crane
Managers and leaders spend at least 75% of their day communicating and research from Forbes identified communication effectiveness as one of the most important skills needed by managers and leaders today. Communication is critical because it impacts every aspect of work, performance, culture, and organizational results. Communication is foundational to solving long-standing organizational challenges such as leading others, guiding change, building cohesive teams, providing strategic direction, and giving feedback.
With leaders spending the majority of their day communicating, the importance of communication is clear. Yet how effectively are we actually communicating within our organizations? The vast majority of employees, 91%, believe their bosses lack the ability to communicate effectively. The primary reason many leaders are poor communicators is because they don’t view it as important. Interestingly, 70% of leaders with underperforming employees believe if they improved communication, they would resolve performance issues and improve motivation with their employees. This highlights a significant gap and opportunity in communication effectiveness.
To fill this gap, there is a need for agreement on what constitutes effective communication as well as a necessity to define the skills and practices to demonstrate it. A universally understood and accepted definition of communication effectiveness would add value by aligning the conversation and creating a benchmark to strive towards. As a starting point, communication effectiveness can be defined as engaging in dialogue that produces shared meaning and understanding. Leaders and managers are communicating 75% of their day in meetings and conversations; if at the conclusion of each of those discussions all parties walked away with shared meaning and understanding, how would that change things in your organization?
To begin this journey to consistently communicate effectively and ensure shared meaning and understanding, there are three skills that when used in dialogue greatly increase communication effectiveness. These skills are empathy, connection, and assertiveness. Empathy is the ability to understand and share other people’s emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Carl Rogers said, “being empathetic is seeing the world through the eyes of the other, not seeing your world reflected in their eyes.” Empathy can be difficult because when we are laser focused on getting things done, we often individualize success, selectively take in data that reinforces our perspectives, and don’t actively make time to engage empathy. Empathy can also be challenging because it doesn’t come naturally to many people; only 20% of the population is genetically disposed to empathy and the ability to detect others’ emotions and understand their perspectives. This means many of us will have to work at it a bit harder. But this is a good news story, we all have the ability to build our empathy skills through intentional practice.
The next communication effectiveness skill is connection. Connection is defined as showing respect and sharing similar interests and experiences that expand each other’s world view, leading to new possibilities. Brené Brown makes the point that “connection is why we are here; it is what gives meaning and purpose to our lives.” Connection creates engagement. If people feel connected to their co-workers, their projects, and their organizational mission and values, they will be more committed and productive. With employees spending a significant amount of time at work, they want their co-workers to care about them and know them as people. Connection offers the benefits of creating an overall feeling of self-worth and purpose, lowering stress, and decreasing the risk of isolation and depression.
The third communication effectiveness skill is assertiveness. Assertiveness is respecting yourself, appropriately standing up for your interests, and expressing your thoughts and feelings, while also being aware of others' needs and willing to resolve conflicts. Author Sharon Anthony Bower says, “the biggest difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how your words and behaviors affect the rights and well-being of others.” Assertiveness is an important part of effective communication because it enables you to be clear about what you want and where you stand, as well as giving others an opportunity to respond with their own needs and ideas or to modify their behavior. Being assertive offers the benefits of less anxiety and depression, a greater sense of agency, and better relationships. Assertiveness is also often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence.
This communication effectiveness definition and the associated skills are grounded in three core principles which are the philosophical underpinnings of communication effectiveness, Being Intentional - purposeful, planned, deliberate; Being Authentic - grounded in reality, genuine, and natural; and Being Respectful - valuing another’s perspective, time, and space.
We will look at the principles in more detail. Anything we strive to do well requires us to be intentional; this also applies to communication effectiveness. Being intentional provides a greater probability the communication will be effective and shared meaning and understanding will occur. As an example, realizing you are about to engage in dialogue with someone about a problem, opportunity, performance issue, or personal matter requires you to consider how best to engage the communication effectiveness skills to ensure you achieve shared meaning and understanding. In each situation, determine which of the skills are most useful based on your communication intentions. If the intent is to get to the root cause of a problem, starting with empathy might be most effective. If the intent is to make a point that you feel needs to be made, assertiveness may be the preferred skill. And if you are attempting to make someone feel valued and appreciated, priority may be given to connection. Although being intentional is a great place to start, authenticity in how the skills are used is critical to the success of the engagement. A person could have the best of intentions but use the skill in a way that seems overly structured or planned. This can make it difficult to believe the genuineness of the communication, which can impact the outcome as well as the trust in the relationship.
Underpinning the two previous principles (being intentional and being authentic) is being respectful when engaging in the communication effectiveness skills of empathy, connection, and assertiveness. Consider respect as a foundation upon which all communications will take place. Respect creates the environment for mutual understanding through empathy and connection.
Communication effectiveness is critical to managers, leaders, employees, and organizations. It is the foundation for all interpersonal interactions, business decisions, performance improvements, and operational changes. As mentioned earlier, 70% of leaders believe improved communication could resolve performance issues and improve motivation, demonstrating communication effectiveness is key to individual and organizational performance. Effective communication could be the differentiator needed to strategically improve your leadership and results.
Ineffective communication and the detrimental impacts it can have on organizations and performance extends past a challenge and into a crisis. Universally defining effective communication and addressing this skill gap should be a priority of all leaders and managers. Begin by opening the dialogue about communication effectiveness and define within your team and organization what shared meaning and understanding looks like. Then discuss examples and opportunities for the three skills of effective communication, empathy, connection, and assertiveness. Ask each team member how they can be intentional, authentic, and respectful in their communication. Celebrate success as progress begins and reinforce effective communication behaviors in performance conversations and through rewards and recognition. Most importantly, model the communication and behaviors you want to see in others. The evolution to communication effectiveness will be a gradual process that is desperately needed and long overdue.
** This article is the ninth in a series of twelve addressing common leadership questions. These questions and challenges touch leaders at all levels and transcend industries. The article series provides valuable information and action steps for leaders to take their skills and teams to the next level. Click here to read the full series.
Author’s Note: Special thanks to Dr. Reggie Crane for sharing his visionary Communication Effectiveness Model and expertise in working with teams and organizations, as well as his generous contribution in co-authoring this article.